Today, my husband discovered my deepest, darkest secret. One of the fundamental parts of my existence that has yet been uncovered throughout my matrimonial history. The secret is... I have a blog! Shocking, right? Especially since we are on year 4, my friends. So he read a couple of entries, and let's just say, I hope you are all way more interested than he is. Otherwise, wtf are you doing here? Go knit a sweater or something!
But while we are telling secrets, let me reveal to you something I do. I honestly thought, until recently, this was a lot more common. When I want my kids to go to bed early but I'm feeling less than WWE Smackdown energetic, I change the times on all the clocks in the house. 7:15 magically becomes 8:00. Bibbity bobbity bedtime! I've talked to a couple of other moms, and apparently nobody else does this. My only question is why.
I was gonna post something political in this third lucky paragraph, but as it turns out, I get really bored of my own political opinions. It only stands to reason that my readers would be bored at the mere mention of them. Why on earth would you want to read that? Therefore, this paragraph is dedicated to dumb facts. For example, banging your head against the wall consumes a whopping 150 calories an hour. You would only have to bang your head against the wall for just under 5 hours to burn off the calories consumed in one of those gihugant BK breakfast thingies. Not only would you be healthy-ish, the bruise on your forehead would be spectacular! Also, right now, this very second, 70% of the people driving on US highways are speeding. This number would be slightly higher if me and several of my closest friends were meeting for sushi in half an hour. Another dumb fact is that the Mayan calendar is ending this year. This is actually not a dumb fact. It is something that has been documented by historians regarding the calendars of several significant civilizations. Unfortunately, I have already RSVP'd for 2013 and signed up to bring ranch dip and martinis. The world is gonna be bummed if I don't show with cosmos.
1 comment:
OK so I did it, I turned the clocks back and my kids were passed out at 7:05 P.M. I told about 3 people and 2 of them kinda acted like you did what!. I kind of feel guilty and what if they were to find out, they would never trust me again. ha ha. Also I think my 9 year old got to much sleep he was still cranky the next day
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