Fried Maca-what?

My friends, I have reached an all-time low, both geographically (you can't go much further south in the Continental US) and also in things culinary. I saw a recipe for (drum roll, please) deep fried macaroni, and I thought, "Hmmm, that looks interesting." If I had stopped there, I wouldn't be questionning myself so much now, but I went on to think, "I should try that." So there I stood at my stove yesterday, frying boiled elbow macaroni. The whole time, I'm thinking, "What am I doing?" But I did it anyway. And it took everything that is right and good about pasta and turned into something depraved and back-woodsy. By the time it was about half done, I had realized it was a very bad idea, but it was too late to turn back. I had to see this thing through to the end. So eventually, I pulled the golden brown, sad looking little 'ronis from their greasy pit of despair and laid them on a paper towel to cool. I salted them down in good southern fashion, and then I hollered (yes, hollered, because that's all you can do at a time like that), "KIDS! COME TRY THESE WEIRD MACARONI THINGS!" They came, they tried, they were unimpressed. They were really crunchy, a lot like corn nuts, the official stinky snack of rude vehicle passengers everywhere. They tasted ok, but I will never fry macaroni again. I felt like I should have gone ahead and lived up to every stereotype known and put on a Waylon Jennings t-shirt, some ratty sweats pulled up to my knees, pulled my hair up in a banana clip and started yelling, "KIDS! COME GET Y'ALL'S FRAH'D MACARONI! HURRY UP NOW, IT'S GONNA GIT COLD! AH SAID MOVE YER BUTTS! Y'ALL AIN'T GOT ALL NAHT! WRASSLIN STARTS IN A HALF HOUR, AND MAMA AIN'T GONNA MISS KURT ANGLE FAHTIN' THAT SAMOA JOE!"

*My apologies if I've offended any of my friends or readers who live in the south, enjoy professional wrestling or are fried macaroni afficionados. I have nothing but love for you all.

***I'm moving some of my blogs over from Myspace (since it's a ghost town these days). Some of them may be a little out of date.