Because You Can't Mail Children

I went into the post office accompanied by several children, ages 10 to 13.  We waited patiently in line until it was our turn.  When we stepped up to that weird high post office counter, the lady politely asked, "What can I help you with today?"  So friendly.  I replied, "I'd like to mail these to Indiana.  Preferably overnight.  How much does that cost?"  She looked all confused and was like, "Mail what?"  I rolled my eyes (only in my head, though, because it's rude to actually roll your eyes at people, even if they are being obtuse) and waved my hand back toward the gaggle of children behind me. "These," I replied patiently.  "I need to get these guys to Indiana.  They don't have to be there until June, and like I said, overnight is preferable.  I'm just trying to find out how much it will cost so we can budget accordingly."  That's when her face got all funny and she quietly suggested I leave the post office.  That's pretty much how it played out at the UPS store too.  You'd think with a name like Goin' Postal, they'd be more understanding.  What's wrong with people?  We should all be so budget-minded.  That's what I think.

So now that it looks like mailing children is not an option (I have yet to ask Fed Ex, but I can't really see it going any better.) we still have to find that original $10,000 we're trying to come up with to send them to the Future Problem Solvers International thing in Indiana.  (click here for a refresher:  http://whatelainasays.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-clown-fish-is-winner.html)  If you want to help these brilliant kids (seriously, you guys, they are way smarter than me) get to the international competition in Indiana, there are a few ways you can donate. The first one involves a smartphone.  Scan this QR code:

And then download the snap.tap.give app.  It's free and super easy.  The suggested donation is $5, but you can go all the way down to $1 and presumably all the way up to about Johnny Depp's salary.  Totally up to you.  Another option is to send money via PayPal to fundraiser.wflfps@gmail.com.  And if none of these work for you, comment me, and I will get you an address where you can do it old school (send a check via snail mail).  The donations are totally tax deductible, and they come not only with our undying gratitude, they also come with a list of dares and do-goods - things I will do if we reach certain donation goals.  Here's the list:

$100 - I eat something gross (calf fries, chocolate-covered crickets, stuff like that)

$200 - I donate a morning at a soup kitchen

$300 - I dye my hair purple

$400 - I volunteer a day at the Sea Turtle Preservation Society helping our cute little shelled friends live quality lives

$500 - I ride the next mechanical bull I see

$10,000 - I get a pink flamingo tattoo (the Florida Future Problem Solvers logo is a pink flamingo)

You may have noticed that there is a gap in that list.  $600-$9900 are missing "challenges" because I'm out of ideas.  I thought of alligator wrestling scuba diving with sharks, but while I'm totally down, those things are expensive and that sort of defeats our purpose.  Please feel free to comment with your suggestions (or if you know someone who'll let me wrassle their gators for free).

I will take pictures and post them so you know I really did the things I promised.

Thanks, y'all!  And as always, much love.

I'm posting this picture of Adam Levine for three reasons:
1.  He's very hot.  (Even if you're a dude, there's no denying it.)
2.  It's a thank-you for reading my blog.  You're welcome.
3.  My entries always get more hits when Adam Levine is included
and I'm totally shameless in promoting my kid's fundraiser.