Sippin' on Zen and juice....

Finding your Zen is one thing. "Oh, look, there's my Zen! It must have fallen out of my pocket when I sat on the couch." Keeping it can be quite another cup of tea. Or juice, maybe, if you don't like tea. It can be like losing your phone, only you can't call your Zen from another phone and hope it rings. It can be a lot like losing your keys. Missing your Zen? Good luck getting anywhere, buddy.

I have this belief that, if I go through life doing the things I'm supposed to do, being true to myself and making choices according to what's right, my life will follow the intended path and good things will happen. Sounds easy enough, doesn't it, Hansel and Gretel? Sometimes, though, those hungry little birds gobble your crumbs right up, and the way becomes a lot less clear. Then you wind up in some nasty witch's oven wishing you could find your keys, or perhaps your cell phone.

"...and then I ate all the crumbs!!!"

But I have come to realize that the way to go is not always going to be clear, or easy, or pretty, or fair. In fact, I wouldn't wish that. The more I'm challenged, the more I grow, the more I learn. Nope, you can't settle for the easy life, or the ennui will set in quickly. Where's the fun in that? Challenge is the spice of life, right? That's why it's fun to cook when you've been drinking.

*Please note, this isn't a sermon, a lecture or even advice. It's just a quick release of thoughts, like a mental sneeze.

If only I had a genie in my pocket...

Wow, big hopes and lots happening right now! If you pray, please pray. If you think happy thoughts, sprinkle me with some mental fairy dust please. Good karma, good juju, good mojo, positive energy... Whatever you can give, I'll take it.

Explain? Sure! First things first, the people in my life that need a little sumpin sumpin:

My friend Jarrod is taking his contractor's licensing exam today and tomorrow. May he pass with flying colors!

My friend Melissa is going on a cruise this week. May her ship not go all Titanic on us, and may she have sunny skies and yummy drinks.

My friend Kristen is currently on a cruise. May she have the time of her life. She deserves it.

My little sister left for Air Force basic training this morning. May she learn and grow and find everything she's looking for.

My friend Andrea and her fiance were in a terrible car accident over the weekend. May they find a speedy recovery and a glass of wine to recover from that experience.

I have another friend who is feeling a little lost and lonely in a new place. May she find her direction and all the happiness life can give.

My sis-in-law/bff is having a spinal tap soon. May it all go well and she have long lasting health.

My grandmother is recovering from recent health problems. May it be a speedy recovery, and may she soon be back to her cantankerous, loving, gardening ways.

My mom and aunt are helping her. May they find some zen in all the madness.

My old choir teacher, youth minister and friend, Chuck Tipton, recently found out he has a brain tumor. May his medical team be wise and skillful, and may he find himself a long, content life from now on.

My cousin and his wife are trying to find the perfect house. May they find all they want and more (and a lady to serve my cousin mediocre fried fish at the buffet).

I am trying to buy a house. May the Deutsche Bank (insert tasteless joke here) accept my offer if that's what is meant for me.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of mentions of people that I love, and even if life is not big for you right now, living is always big. We could always use a little love our way, so give a little if you can.

Lastly, two more wishes: May AT&T stop calling me every hour to sell me a new phone plan (I don't need one, please consult Target for better marketing advice), and may the lady at Wal-Mart become better at weighing her oranges so that she no longer gets her hair stuck in the produce scale.

*Post-publish edit: May the new bus driver shave his big yellow mustache and shed his grumpy demeanor so that the elementary kids quit getting in trouble for calling him the Lorax.

Nursery Rhymes for Grown Ups: Part 2 of HowevermanyIfeellikewriting

Big Miss Muffet

Big Miss Muffet

Sat on her tuffet

Eating her salad and lean protein.

(Curds and whey are crazy fattening!)

Along came Paula Deen,

Who buttered her beans,

And frightened Miss Muffet into a gym membership.

Nursery Rhymes For Grown Ups: Part 1 of HowevermanyIfeellikewriting

Big Jack Horner

Big Jack Horner sat in a corner (office)

Wearing a corporate tie.

As his ex-wife, Bo Peep,

Drove off in his Jeep,

He thought, "What a boring-ass grown up am I!"

I lost my keys, but I never lost an entire dude...

As usual, this blog has really no cohesive thought process, and it has pretty much nothing to do with anything. Enjoy!

Last night, I took the kids to a friends house for snacks, fun, adult conversation and wine. The latter two on the list were, of course, reserved for me. We were getting ready to go, washed, combed, dressed, all that nonsense involved in looking like you didn't roll out of bed and right out the door. My kids are allowed to pick their own clothes (...with precious few exceptions. Foam cowboy hats and rain boots are really not wedding attire.), and my 4-year-old takes full advantage of my liberal dress code. She did pick a cute little dress and leggings to match, so I left her alone to get dressed. She walked out a short time later wearing mismatched socks, GIANT clip on earrings and a pink scarf knotted around her waist. She was the perfect mishmash of eccentric cuteness. She then announced enthusiastically, "Look mom! Now I look just. like. you!!!" I love how I must look in their eyes.

So I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed that I washed a load of dishes in the dishwasher, and every bowl and cup flipped over and filled with water. After that, I had some dream about a snake. The dishwasher dream bothered me considerably more.

This is how I play Farmville:

Soon it will be time to harvest my beans. Maybe I can

eventually level up enough to get some chickens up in

this hizzay!

Last, but not least, I would like to mention something that is heavy on my mind, sometimes more than others. I see missing people posters, read about people gone missing, and now there's that show about people who just *poof* disappear. Have you seen this person? Probably not. It astounds me. I like to think that if I went missing, somebody would notice. Also, I'd like to think that after they noticed, they would try to find me, whether they thought I wanted to be found or not. Not that I'd disappear. I'd give in, update my status, and all sneakiness would be lost. It bothers me that, in today's "google me" world, people can still vanish. I have a much-loved uncle who did. The people in the posters do. If Forensic Files can solve a murder based on carpet fibers stuck to tape, how are entire people lost?