"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?" C.S. Lewis is credited with this little pearl of wisdom. Did he really say it? I don't know, guys. I wasn't there. What I do know is how freakin' true this is. It's also true that sometimes everything changes, but so much remains fundamentally untouched. Cryptic and deep, huh? I'll explain.
You might notice that my last post before this was all the way back in April 2015. Where have I been? What have I been doing? That was a time of drastic change, and I have come out a new person on the other side. Or perhaps, I'm simply more myself. On June 28, 2015, I packed my 3 kids, 4 suitcases, and a box of stuff in my SUV and in the middle of the night, I drove away from my life. My marriage of 17 years had deteriorated to the point where staying was not an option. He owned the company I worked for, the house where I lived, the bank accounts. I had nothing but 3 kids, our clothes, a full tank of gas, and $500, and my family lived over 1200 miles away. As I headed west, into a total question mark, I was terrified. I went to a domestic abuse center for counseling, moved into a travel trailer, got a job waiting tables, and enrolled the kids in school. He filed for divorce on July 22, setting in motion an intense and expensive legal battle that's only now just finished. But in the words of the amazing Tyler Durden, "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."
Now, I could go into all the Lifetime Movie details here, but how about we just hit fast forward instead? I am now living in the small New Mexico town where I grew up. The kids live with me, and they spend their school breaks in Florida with their dad. I'm remarried, and my husband is a wonderful man who treats me like I didn't just hang the moon, but like I designed it and brought it into being. I have a good career at a company that makes loans to farmers and ranchers, and last year, we bought a beautiful home. For me, everything has changed in these three years, but when I went to update my profile, it was oddly the same. I am married with 3 kids, and I have one cat now, instead of two. His name is Mr. Meowgi, and he's kind of an asshole, but we love him. I still love hats and hate pickles. Through it all, I'm still me.
