Welcome, freaks!

Hell-freaking-lo, China!  Imagine my surprise when I pulled up my stats, and second in readership to the US?  China!  At the risk of sounding completely ignorant (and I know I do very often), I didn't know people in China got uncensored access to the internet so they could read my nonsense.  I must be absolutely no threat to any government anywhere.  See, I'm ignorant.  Now I feel bad, but not bad enough to stop talking, obviously.  China, I hope I didn't just alienate y'all.  I think you're fabulous!  Please keep reading.

Honestly, I'm happy that I have such a wide and diverse audience.  Germany, you're all pretty much my cousins, so welcome!  Australia, you spend a lot of time in the water AND you're mostly just totally hot.  I'm always happy to get a read from down under.  Same to you, New Zealand.  Plus you have kiwi birds and an awesome government, so kudos all around!  Eastern Europe, just keep being sultry and sexy beyond explanation.  Mmmm..........  Russia, Jordan, Brazil,  you're all on different continents, but I love you just as much.  Malaysia, you bring it like whoa!

I know I've left some out.  Blame it on the wine.  I'm just damned happy to have you all here, regardless of how you arrived.  You might of searched for my name directly (creeper, we broke UP, ok?), or maybe you searched for "naked gay columbian blog" (yes, I'm talking to all three of  you), but the bottom line is, I'm glad you're here.

Welcome, freaks!

Naked Is Best - A Short Story

Tonight I was changing clothes to get in the hot tub.  Omfg.  Really?  Now I must adon special attire to enjoy warm water properly?

Last night, I slept in my standard mom-army issue pajamas - boxers and a hopefully-not-too-stained tee.  This morning, I changed into something more appropriate to take my kids to the bus stop before school - yoga pants and a t-shirt with fewer stains.  You have to look nice at the bus stop, see?  Then I showered and broke out the big guns.  I had to look professional for work so it was pants, blazer, heels (I almost wrote "hells" instead of "heels" there.  Paging Dr. Freud!), the works.  It was HOT today in Florida, and humid like a mutha, so as soon as I got home, hello sundress and flip flops!  And now we're caught up to present, so yes, I'm writing a blog in a swimsuit.  Going into the hot tub soon.  Why?  I mean why the swimsuit, not why the hot tub.  Hot tubs are nice on sore muscles after long days.  What did a swimsuit ever do for anyone?  The moral of the story, my friends, is that nudists seem to have stumbled onto some wisdom.